April 29, 2009

My Beloved Friend

















Today is one of the hardest days of my life.


This may be trivial to you, but when you've had a close friend for over 14 years and then watch them get sick and be in pain only to finally lose them, then you'll know how I feel.

Today I had to decided that my dear, dear, beloved friend and companion had to go to sleep for one final time.

My little terrier mutt, Sophie fell asleep in my arms this morning after a she had gradually slowed down and her body quickly began to shut down.

She has been my cuddler, my feet-warmer, my walking buddy and most of all my confidant. I was never alone, she was always there ready to wag her scruffy tail and let me know she loved me.

Rest well dear Sophie, or should I say - Soph-ay-o, Sopha, Dr. Sophausen, Sophiekins, Bubba, Baby, Shmoopie......

May you forever romp in tall grasses, sniff every log, and find a nice comfy bed to curl up on.

You've been the best dog and friend I could have ever dreamed possible.




March 1, 2009

Music to My Life

Recently I've played a few amusing games on facebook and via e-mail where you fill in some sort of form with either random questions about yourself, or you 'google' you name and fill out funny ends of sentences, or you shuffle your music in iTunes and randomly assign the each song that comes up to a part of your life, as if it were your life's soundtrack.

This last game proved to be quite funny and surprising.

For example, my Opening Credits would be "Little Boxes" by Melvina Reynolds, and if you've been awake in the last 3 years you'd know this is the theme song for the TV show "Weeds". No, my life has nothing to do with the plot of Weeds, but the theme song seems appropriate.

A few other funny coincidences were as follows:
Falling in Love: We are Broken - Paramore
Prom: Hell - Squirrel Nut Zippers
Life: Me Against the World - Simple Plan
Final Battle: I Get Knocked Down - Chumbawumba

Now, this really doesn't predict anything true about my life, it's just a fun game to play to see what comes up.



However, of all the thousands of music tracks I have in my iTunes folders, and of all the CDs I've made or playlists created, I do have a few favourite bands that I seem to turn to when I'm sick of the radio with Top 40 hits, or popular songs from the 80s and 90s, or even from our local stations that play new artists. These comforting favourite bands keep putting out new albums that continue to speak to me in a way music should, deep down to the depths of my fears, my sadness but also my joys.

 Here are my Top 4 all time favourite artists/bands, in no order:

Coldplay - I've loved them ever since I was introduced to the song "Yellow" BEFORE it was ever played on the radio. I had a friend who always followed new British bands and found these guys long before Yellow was overplayed. He sent me a link to their website and back then, I remember instantly connecting to their haunting melodies and different, interesting sound. The lyrics, too, to every song on their Parachutes album, spoke to me. Every song on that album tugs at my emotions when one is played. I can even pinpoint the memory of where I was when I first heard them. Now after several albums, their newest venture Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends again amazes me with the risks they take and conquer. I cannot wait for their next new and fresh sound.

Snow Patrol - I first heard one of their songs on the popular show Grey's Anatomy...many of you will remember the season finale where one of the characters has to deal with the death of a loved one, and the song that wove it's way into that tearful moment. After the show that night, I quickly looked up the songs used in the episode and found Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars". After finding their albums, I was glued to the sounds they created and I studies their lyrics, eager to know what they were all about. Their first two albums, Final Straw and Eyes Open both breathed new life into my music lists. I listened to them until I knew every song from the first few notes. And now their newest album, A Hundred Million Suns, has me adding them to my list of new CDs to make to listen in my car. (I do have an iPod input, but my driving trips are so short, it's not worth the effort to plug it all in unless I'm driving longer distances. CDs are still my preferred choice of medium for car listening, along with satellite and local radio.)

Secondhand Serenade - Along with my new car last year, I signed up for satellite radio and quickly bookmarked a few good stations. One played the most voted on Top 20 songs, constantly changing after listeners call in to vote for their favourites. I soon heard a new song "Fall for You" and I mentally noted it to look up later. I then found Secondhand Serenade, not a band but the solo project by John Vesely, so he could either play alone or with any number of band members. His two albums were quickly added to my playlists and became instant favourites...every single song. I also love the concept of his work, he writes and sings his music for his wife, where they are the firsthand serenade, then for us, his fans they are the secondhand serenade. Many of his songs I would consider true background music for the real soundtrack of my life. Songs like "Half Alive", "Broken", "Maybe", "Why", "Pretend" and "A Twist in My Story" will always be on my playlist.

The Fray - I have just become familiar with this band after liking what I've heard both on the radio and on TV shows where a few of their recent tracks have appeared. So far, their unique sound and the meaning behind their lyrics have caught my ear and kept me interested to hear more. I look forward to learning more about them. Oh and I love their video for "How to Save a Life".

February 14, 2009

The Cupcake


Things I like about Valentine's Day:


  • Special chocolate and candies seems to be in bowls everywhere.
  • Many people become a little more light-hearted and easy going leading up to the big day.
  • There always seems to be some cute or romantic chick flicks at the theatres in hopes that date night will be her choice.
  • It is a day to celebrate love and affection...something we technically should celebrate every day.
  • Getting cute cards or childish cartoon valentines from one or two people who take the time to brighten my day.

Things I do not like about Valentine's Day:

  • It seems to have become so very commercialized and boxed up into a special occasion that we are all 'supposed' to celebrate.
  • How, as a single person, it is practically rubbed in my face that I am alone on the 'most romantic night of the year'.
  • That I am sadly making cute and tasty cherry-chocolate-chip cupcakes for no other reason than because the calendar says I should at least be doing 'something' special today.
  • That for the 30th Hallmark Valentine's Day in a row...I have no one special that I can pour my own sugary love onto, no one to give a romantic card to or no one to give any of those things to me.
  • Lastly, I do not like that on Valentine's Day, I feel like even more of an outcast and weirdo than on every other regular day.
However, do not think I am in despair or wallowing...no!
I am enjoying a homemade yummy cherry-chocolate-chip cupcake or two, watching some of my favourite shows and curling up into bed with a good book.

You, see, with the exceptional bonus of the really tasty cupcakes, today is just like any other day for me. And I am okay with that.

So happy Saturday to you all.
I'll see you soon.

~ K

January 29, 2009

So it's almost February...

Yes, yes, it is almost February...where did January go?

We had a sprinkling of snow, some rain, a visiting elephant seal to my neighbourhood, an awesome Narnia Winter Fest, I saw a few good movies, rented a few duds...and now it is soon February.
The month of Love.
Sure.

I'm usually one who likes all the stereotypical Hallmark holidays...decorating and dressing up for whatever the occasion, but lately I'm beginning to have a new outlook on holidays and special occasions. I am realizing that instead of going overboard on the frills and gimmicks of the season, we should be paying attention to the daily little things. We should be constantly reminding our friends and loved ones of how much we appreciate each other. We should take time out to do something nice for someone else, not because it's a special day or week, but because we truly care about them.


I know I am not the greatest for expressing how I feel sometimes, but I am going to try and make a conscious effort to share my appreciation for those around me. I'm going to try and compliment people more, have more patience and understanding and not get oversensitive and hurt over things that really don't matter.

I've been working through some underlying issues with how I express myself and I know that my character needs a lot of fine tuning and delicate shaping. I have many regrets over things I haven't said, things I have said, or ways I have acted that have hurt others, but I can only hope to learn from all those bumps in the road.

If any of my friends are reading this blog, both near and far, please know that I care about you. I appreciate you and all your talents and abilities. Whether I talk to you once a week or once a year, know that I wish the best for you, and if there is anything within my power to do for you, please let me know.

For those far away, I miss you and wish I could see you more often!
For those close by, let's make some time to hang out again soon!

I cherish my friendships and hope those that call me a friend feel the same way. I know we can injure each other sometimes, but I sincerely hope that after some time we all can have the courage to mend what is broken and not give up on the years of trust, care and laughter that have built up into strong friendships.
I am always here to talk to if anyone needs a listening ear.

I am saying all this, not to sound like some great, together person, but a person under construction, trying my best to become the caring and loving woman that I know God wants me to be. I still have my faults but I know together as friends we can all learn from each other and be there for one another.

This was not a particular message to anyone just something I felt I needed to say, more for myself than for any of you. Yet I hope you who are reading know that I am trying my best to be there for my friends when they need me and to slowly chip away at the parts of me that are unpleasant.

Thanks for reading, I always love it when people leave me comments or feedback.

January 4, 2009

It's a NEW Year.

Hi.
Yes.
So here it is.
The obligatory New Year's post filled with reflection, insight and perspective of the days to come in 2009.

Reflections: 2008 had it's moments, both good and bad. I made a new friend in the west coast land of Tofino and travelled there 4 times both camping and checking out some awesome cabins. I had a great road trip to Alberta. I always love driving through the Rocky Mountains. Such beauty left me breathless. I saw and spent time with relatives I love and encountered some of the craziest weather both during the summer and winter that I have ever seen! I took many, many photos and learned new skills along the way. There were some low moments, some sad moments, and some heart breaking moments. I tried not to dwell on them and move on, but my heart does not heal quickly.

Insight: My life hasn't changed much from the end of last year. I have the same job, the same home, the same hobbies, and most of the same friends. Is this because I haven't changed, and is that a good thing? Or should I be pursuing new things, pushing myself out of my comfortable boxy life?

Future Perspective: I have a yearning to travel more, to go places I've never been. I have a few ideas and will try to journey on them all. I have a secret project I'm slowly trying out. You may never hear about it, but one day I may look back and see that I made myself a pledge to follow through and complete it. I love my dear friends, but I need to branch out and meet more people. Not change my circle, just widen it to include new friends. I enjoy my job, but I need to push myself to try out new projects and chase after the passions that I've hidden or suppressed for so long. I also need to rely and trust more in what God has for me...in every area of my life. Knowing and trusting are two very different states of mind - I need to trust.

These are NOT "new years resolutions", simply hopes for the future and reminders that I can look back on to urge me forward when I need a nudge.

I look forward to 2009...not with eagerness, but with a mature fear and respect for what I do not understand as I step out into the unknown and a tightly held hope for joy and happiness as my steps find a solid place to land.