Write 31 Days - Confront

I am not great with confrontation, good or bad.
I don't like speaking up. I don't like when someone argues with me.
I get warm and panic inside as the blood visibly rushes to my face.
I never know what to say in the moment.

I am much, much better at ignoring a problem or letting it get buried deep down.
But that's never a solution to confrontation.

This September I decided it was high time to confront something head on, no matter what the outcome: my health.

I hadn't seen my doctor other than briefly for prescription renewals over the past several years so it was time for a check up.

First he gave me an order for blood work for pretty much everything just to have a starting point.
Then I had an appointment to go over all the test results.

Almost everything we tested was flagged at either too high or two low...and not in a good way.  
That was not quite a shock but still a little upsetting.

My doctor is on the quieter, more serious side, but he was kind and asked lots of good, thoughtful questions. We put some new treatments into motion addressing my lack of energy, poor sleep, and my weight issues, with which I've struggled all my life.

To hopefully avoid taking numerous new medications to lower some of those not-so-good numbers, for the next first six months I am going to try and start on a healthier path with better choices revolving around food and exercise.

Driving home after that appointment I was a bit of a basket case.
The tears flowed and I just couldn't wrap my head around how I'd gotten to this point in my life.
Not that anything was really bad, just borderline, and I could no longer ignore it.
I was just so very overwhelmed with everything.  

This was NOT where I wanted to be.
I didn't want pain or discomfort or weight to every hold me back from anything. And I've truly tried to not let it, but I has been happening more and more.
Now was time to put my plan into action for me to get health.

This had been coming for a long time. And now I was forcing myself to confront it.
But that was a good thing. A difficult thing, but a step in the right direction.

So far, things are going well. I'm feeling good.
We increased my dosage of my thyroid medication and I have more energy than I used to.
I'm making better choices, thus eating better and I'm down 15 pounds since I starting keep track at the beginning of September. A small victory!

I still tend to get overwhelmed easily and shut down or off and ignore what I need to do.
But I've been taking everything a little bit at a time, trying not to focus on the small tasks rather than the larger picture and have it overtake me.

I plan my week, taking time to make healthy meals that I can eat for lunch or supper. Lots of veggies, enough protein at every meal, less snacking, and forcing myself to get out to walk or some other exercise when I can.

I'm not thinking about this as a temporary thing...this is my life.
I cannot waste a moment.

I need to confront what's not working head-on and change, bit by bit until my life looks and feels like healthy and whole, noting holding me back.

Thanks for reading.
Thanks for not judging.
We are all on our own journey. 


I'm sure I'll write more on this topic as the weeks go on, so stay tuned!

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This has been a writing prompt post from #Write31Days, join in the fun. 

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Five Minute Friday - Eat

Lately I've been making a concerted effort to make healthy meals at home.
(read about my health journey here)

I know many of us can get into a bad habit of eating out way too often, which is never a great idea for your health, let alone your monthly budget.
I've really been enjoying fresh local produce, yummy and filling salads, and easy hot meat and veggie dinners I can take to work.
Here are a few of my recent favourites.

Salads: I used to dread making and eating salads!
They always tasted the same. They never seemed filling or satisfying.
They never felt like a good, hearty meal.

BUT!
I've been experimenting and here are a few tricks I've learned that are helping me to LOVE my lunchtime or supper salads.

Romaine Hearts - these crisp, dark green leafy lettuces have been my staple base for my salads. Romaine is packed with nutrients—vitamins, minerals, phytonutrients and fiber!
They tend to stay crisp in my fridge for a week or two and can even replace taco shells or wraps for a change at meal times.

Bell Peppers - I never used to like peppers, but now I love the solid, tangy crunch these bright veggies add to my meal. I either dice them or I use my slicer (mandolin style, mine's from Epicure) to make thin strips (which can also be stored and used later sauteed for fajitas for stir frys!). Bell peppers are full of antioxidant and anti-inflammatory health benefits!

Tomatoes - Most summers I've tried to grow my own tomatoes. I had a decent crop this year of small cherry and romas and add a good 6-10 of these small fruits to my salads. Did you know that tomatoes have long been linked to heart health? Fresh tomatoes and tomato extracts have been shown to help lower total cholesterol!

I've also been enjoying using my slicer to add some more delicate slices of the more denser, hard veggies like carrots and radishes to my concoctions. (see photo above!)

I also have bulk bags of unsalted pumpkin seeds and dried cranberries in my freezer door and add a teaspoon or two of each to top off my lunch.

Some new toppers I've begun to incorporate are the Epicure brand nutritional yeasts—the Asian Umami or the Garlic & Onion. They contain inactive nutritional yeast offering a source of 8 essential vitamins & minerals. They have a rich almost cheesy flavour and have replaced my previous generous use of salt and pepper.

I'll also chop up an apple or add half a ripe avocado and finish off with some home made Balsamic Vinaigrette Dressing (simple olive oil, balsamic vinaigrette and Epicure dry mix).

Protein at every meal is also important, so I've either been adding some chicken I've made the night before, or from a store-bought BBQ chicken, or even my own homemade meatballs! 

Now, maybe this isn't the way you'd make a salad, or maybe you really want to tell me I'm doing it all wrong. But hey, it's working for me so far. I'm enthused about making and eating my lunchtime salads so back off and make your own. 

No really, I encourage you to experiment and try out some new combinations for your salads. Add a fruit like a pear or mandarin oranges, add nuts or seeds like almonds or sunflower seeds. 

I'd also encourage you to find out more about Epicure products. Not because I want to push selling them (yes, I do work for Epicure!), but because I am enjoying them so much! They all enhance your food in a healthy, clean-eating way. I've already had to clean out my pantry to add all my new Epicure spice blends and other products and I'm having a blast discovering new uses and flavours from all the products I have. 

Happy cooking and healthy-eating!

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This has been a writing prompt post from #Write31Days, join in the fun. 

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Write 31 Days - Sign

Do you ever ask for a sign?

Do you get stuck and need some help making a decision so you look up into the heavens with wide, desperate eyes and plead for some sort of amazing and obvious sign so you can make your choice and continue on your way, sure and confident, on your path?


I've have plenty of those moments and those signs have come in many different forms.


I've had decisions to make about whether or not to go back to school, what courses to take, what career path to follow...or not follow.

I've had to decide if it was right to leave University for a while and pursue something else, explore, find out what I didn't want to do.

I've had to choose whether to move back home, or move in with a friend, or which new home to settle in to.

I've had decisions come up regarding how to deal with issues in relationships, friendships, and co-workers.


Many large and small life decisions have found me asking for a sign, something visible, to help me on my way.


If you don't know me very well, you may not know that I have a strong belief in God and I am always striving to have a better relationship with Him.

I've asked Him for signs—for lightning, for rocks to move, and the sky to split. I've asked for clear direction and a blatantly obvious reveal to whatever choice had me stuck.

But I've found that bargaining with God doesn't work.

He works in His own time, not ours.

Though possible, He rarely works in grand, Yes or No, This Way or That Way, signs.

Most of the time, if you seek out His advice, His counsel, His directions, He does answer, but maybe not in the way you'd expect.

I've heard His voice, a quiet, gentle reminder nudging me in the way I knew I should go, or the action I should take that best represents how He would have us treat each other.

I've had larger, more obvious doors close or open that helped me make a major decision or set me on a different course than I'd previously mapped out.

Yet, if I didn't hear from Him, I still found a peace in knowing that if I trust Him and still fall, or stumble, or make a bad choice, He will be there to help me try again.

Signs can come in many forms.

A whisper.
A timely phone call or text.
A conviction of conscience.
A reminder from past decisions made.

I've learned how to listen for those small signs, though sometimes life can be too loud to hear them clearly.

I'm not usually gushy about my faith but some days I feel it's important to share how I'm feeling.


The passage below has been an important read for me today, a reminder not to bargain but to ask and trust God for what you need.

I hope that perhaps reading this today finds you in a place where you can seek out the answers you've been struggling with.

Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing. You’re at least decent to your own children. So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?

Matthew 7:7-12 The Message

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Write 31 Days - Global

From the air, any country I've ever flown over, from Canada and the US to the UK or Central America, look so beautiful and yet so similar.

Irish Coast

Everything is a mixture of hundreds of shades of greens and browns on land and over the coasts and lakes it always a swirling of blues, whites, and aquas.

Rocky Mountains

The mountains, from 35,000 feet, are less intimidating and more like child-drawn rough lines across the landscape. Some are capped with the white and light blues of fresh snows, some are dusty and brown, barren and desert-like.

Grand Canyon

I've flown over the Grand Canyon and it looks like the Earth is injured, a giant crack zipping through the plains, open and dry.

Ireland

I've sighed at the fresh green patchwork over Ireland, the green multi-sized squares bordered by darker greens, like a pieced-together grandma's quilt, lush and fresh and full of promise.

Mexico

Beaches up the coast of Mexico look dry and hot but where the white surf meets the tan sands, the heat looks inviting and beaches stretch in curving, drawn-out "u" shapes far into the horizon blurriness.

Dallas

Buildings and highways, industry and factories, they all grown small and shrink as we climb.
They are tiny shapes, dwarfed by the sheer land mass they live on as we rise higher, able to view more and more at once.

San Juan Islands

Islands become scattered dots, elongated and stretched, surrounded by a flat concrete of ocean. Boats and ferries look less like fast transport and more like small insects, crawling slowly along the deep navy blue floor.

Somewhere over the Atlantic

As we move up ear-poppingly higher into the clouds, floating and streaking through the beautiful white and sliver fluff, I forget.

I forget about the busyness of life.
I forget about deadlines and projects and upcoming appointments.
I forget about drama and stress and what lies ahead.
I forget what's below me for an hour or two.

Yet as I forget I'm reminded.

I remember that down there, life goes on.
Down there, people can be the same wherever I travel.
People can be kind, understanding, and helpful.

Toronto

A small souvenir shop owner can chat with me about making our own jewelry and he can take the time to hand craft me a wire flower to take home. His gift to me, a fellow crafter.

Me & Eduardo

A driver in Costa Rica, who spent the week carting luggage, driving a small packed bus full of noisy single women, can bond over the love of our pet dogs back home. We slowly heard his life story, and a quiet and gentle giant of a man was transformed into a friend.

Mark & Me

A tour guide in Scotland can make a single traveler like me feel welcome on a bus full of families and friends. As we seek out castles and battlefields he can chat with me about our shared love of history and music and entertainment.

A waiter at a resort in Mexico can be funny, full of jokes to make us laugh and tell us about his children and how proud he is of them. We can see how hard he works for his family though he only sees them one weekend out of two.

There are people down there, families and business people, people with dogs or cats, old people, children, schools and shopping malls full of people, and they all are driven by mostly similar
motivations.

All people want to be loved and needed.
All people want their own voice heard.
All people want what they do to matter and to feel good about their lives.

I won't forget about that, whether I'm flying high above the earth or walking down the street in my home city, I'll remember that inside, people are just like me.

We are the same, all over the world.

A global family.

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Write 31 Days - Off

I skipped a day of writing yesterday because I needed a day off.

I've never written this frequently in my life, barring when I was in school, and even then I don't think I wrote so much!

I've really been enjoying writing every day this month. I stumbled across the "Write 31 Days" challenge a few days into October but jumped on board with both feet.
I had been wanting to write more regularly and figured this would be a great way to start.

Yesterday's word, humorously enough, was "Off".

I needed a day off yesterday. A day just to chill, relax, and not put any pressure on myself to really do anything.

I had a few weekend plans, which you can read about here, and accomplished a couple of them.
I watched some Netflix (Walking Dead Season 6 Marathon to catch up for tonight's Season 7 Premiere!), went for an awesome long evening walk along the ocean with my dog, and even started a few new jewelry projects.

I have today, Sunday,  off as well.

I never used to have Sundays off.
At my previous job I worked all day Sunday and then had Mondays off.
While I liked my Sunday job, and I really loved my quiet Mondays off, I felt my weekends were always so disconnected. I hadn't had a normal 2-day weekend in almost 12 years!

Now, it feels luxurious to have two whole days off in a row! I even feel like I'm cheating or skipping out on work staying home for two days.

Today the sun is shining and the Autumn air is crisp but I see blue sky and no rain in sight.
Today, my day off, feels full of possibilities.
Maybe a nice drive, maybe a walk on a beach, maybe both! Whatever I feel like on my day off!

What do you do on your days off?

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This has been a writing prompt post from #Write31Days, join in the fun. 

Catch up on all my 31Days + 5MinFriday posts by clicking here.