January 29, 2009

So it's almost February...

Yes, yes, it is almost February...where did January go?

We had a sprinkling of snow, some rain, a visiting elephant seal to my neighbourhood, an awesome Narnia Winter Fest, I saw a few good movies, rented a few duds...and now it is soon February.
The month of Love.

I'm usually one who likes all the stereotypical Hallmark holidays...decorating and dressing up for whatever the occasion, but lately I'm beginning to have a new outlook on holidays and special occasions. I am realizing that instead of going overboard on the frills and gimmicks of the season, we should be paying attention to the daily little things. We should be constantly reminding our friends and loved ones of how much we appreciate each other. We should take time out to do something nice for someone else, not because it's a special day or week, but because we truly care about them.

I know I am not the greatest for expressing how I feel sometimes, but I am going to try and make a conscious effort to share my appreciation for those around me. I'm going to try and compliment people more, have more patience and understanding and not get oversensitive and hurt over things that really don't matter.

I've been working through some underlying issues with how I express myself and I know that my character needs a lot of fine tuning and delicate shaping. I have many regrets over things I haven't said, things I have said, or ways I have acted that have hurt others, but I can only hope to learn from all those bumps in the road.

If any of my friends are reading this blog, both near and far, please know that I care about you. I appreciate you and all your talents and abilities. Whether I talk to you once a week or once a year, know that I wish the best for you, and if there is anything within my power to do for you, please let me know.

For those far away, I miss you and wish I could see you more often!
For those close by, let's make some time to hang out again soon!

I cherish my friendships and hope those that call me a friend feel the same way. I know we can injure each other sometimes, but I sincerely hope that after some time we all can have the courage to mend what is broken and not give up on the years of trust, care and laughter that have built up into strong friendships.
I am always here to talk to if anyone needs a listening ear.

I am saying all this, not to sound like some great, together person, but a person under construction, trying my best to become the caring and loving woman that I know God wants me to be. I still have my faults but I know together as friends we can all learn from each other and be there for one another.

This was not a particular message to anyone just something I felt I needed to say, more for myself than for any of you. Yet I hope you who are reading know that I am trying my best to be there for my friends when they need me and to slowly chip away at the parts of me that are unpleasant.

Thanks for reading, I always love it when people leave me comments or feedback.

January 4, 2009

It's a NEW Year.

So here it is.
The obligatory New Year's post filled with reflection, insight and perspective of the days to come in 2009.

Reflections: 2008 had it's moments, both good and bad. I made a new friend in the west coast land of Tofino and travelled there 4 times both camping and checking out some awesome cabins. I had a great road trip to Alberta. I always love driving through the Rocky Mountains. Such beauty left me breathless. I saw and spent time with relatives I love and encountered some of the craziest weather both during the summer and winter that I have ever seen! I took many, many photos and learned new skills along the way. There were some low moments, some sad moments, and some heart breaking moments. I tried not to dwell on them and move on, but my heart does not heal quickly.

Insight: My life hasn't changed much from the end of last year. I have the same job, the same home, the same hobbies, and most of the same friends. Is this because I haven't changed, and is that a good thing? Or should I be pursuing new things, pushing myself out of my comfortable boxy life?

Future Perspective: I have a yearning to travel more, to go places I've never been. I have a few ideas and will try to journey on them all. I have a secret project I'm slowly trying out. You may never hear about it, but one day I may look back and see that I made myself a pledge to follow through and complete it. I love my dear friends, but I need to branch out and meet more people. Not change my circle, just widen it to include new friends. I enjoy my job, but I need to push myself to try out new projects and chase after the passions that I've hidden or suppressed for so long. I also need to rely and trust more in what God has for me...in every area of my life. Knowing and trusting are two very different states of mind - I need to trust.

These are NOT "new years resolutions", simply hopes for the future and reminders that I can look back on to urge me forward when I need a nudge.

I look forward to 2009...not with eagerness, but with a mature fear and respect for what I do not understand as I step out into the unknown and a tightly held hope for joy and happiness as my steps find a solid place to land.