What's your story?

There are many metaphors for life.

Running the race.
Traveling on a journey.
Sailing the course.

My favourite has to be that our lives are a story.

There is a beginning...we are born.
There is a middle...we live.
And there is an end...you guessed it, we die.

YET, your story doesn't have to seem so standard, cookie-cutter, or so depressingly final.

If you believe at all in God, know that He loves you and He thought about you before you were born.
 Your beginning wasn't just some random dot on a timeline.
 God knew you before you began.

And if you believe in a heaven then you know that if you've chosen to trust God and grow close to Him, we will live forever in His amazing presence.
 Our end isn't stuck here in an aging world.

As for the middle?

Well, we are living it everyday.
Like the lyrics above tell us, all the little things that you've stumbled over, all those walls you've smacked up against, all the pits and holes along the way, they just become a part of your story.
They are not the end.
They don't define you and what and who you are.
They are footnotes, character flaws that make us unique.

Whatever you are searching for, or whatever path you are on, it doesn't have to be final.
You can change your mind.
You can find peace and love and wholeness.

It's not a calling to an easy life.
You will be set apart and mocked and looked down upon.
But those are just pages in your story. 
They are not the focus.

Centre yourself around what really matters.
Find your way in this muddled up world towards something greater than our selfish tendencies.
We can try to be 'good' until we exhaust every volunteer or donation opportunity but that simply isn't enough.

We need to find our way to the love of God.

You may read my blog and not agree with me. That's ok.
I just think it's time I shared what I believe.
I want to make sure it's clear.
And I care enough about all of you to make sure you know about it, too.



My life is nowhere near what I thought it would be.
And that's ok.

If I was no longer alive tomorrow I know it would not be the end.
I have a faith, a trust and a hope in something greater than myself.

You can have it, too.

What do you hold onto? 
What's YOUR story?

Out Of Hiding (Father's Song)
by Steffany Gretzinger

Come out of hiding, you’re safe here with me
There’s no need to cover what I already see
You’ve got your reasons, but I hold your peace
You’ve been on lockdown and I hold the key

Cause I loved before you knew what was love
And I saw it all, still I chose the cross
And you were the one that I was thinking of
When I rose from the grave
Now rid of the shackles my victory’s yours
I tore the veil for you to come close
There’s no reason to stand at a distance anymore
You’re not far from home

And I’ll be your lighthouse when you’re lost at sea
And I will illuminate everything
No need to be frightened by intimacy
Just throw off your fear and come running to m

And oh as you run, what hindered love
Will only become part of the story 

Baby you’re almost home now
Please don’t quit now
You’re almost home to me 

Charge Me Up

This month, a blogger I enjoy reading (brittanyherself.com) has set out some writing prompts for us fellow bloggers or writers to share our real-life stories. The theme for August is: Body Image, with 31 different topics to write about.

Where do you go when you need to recharge?

When I'm stressed, or tired or just need some time to myself there are a few places I like to go.

I love the ocean!

 
I love walking near the shore or scrambling over rocks or just sitting on some driftwood and watching the waves.

I'll find a beach close to town or even drive to some secluded wild west coast beach.

Rocks or sandy, it doesn't matter.

I love the ocean.


But today I want to share one of my new favourite summer retreats.

It may be for a few hours or it may just be for a few minutes, but my patio garden is where I can always go to recharge.

I sit on my lounge chair facing my back yard, shoes off, toes wriggling freely in the fresh air and relax.

My plants and flowers in my patio garden oasis glow with bright shades of red, pink, purple and orange in the light.

I can hear the birds singing and chirping and twittering.

I can feel the breeze against my skin, hear it among the tree branches and see it rippling the shades of green around my yard.

 I may have a book in hand or not, depends on how tired my eyes are.

I may have a cool drink siting beside me.

My little white dog is usually scampering around in the grass, sniffing where the wild bunnies have traveled or chasing the mostly elusive little lizards into their hidey-holes.

The best moments that leave me sitting frozen still and prickly with excitement are when I hear that familiar thrum and a tiny humming bird comes zooming in from the bushes to check out the glass feeder I've placed near my hanging flower baskets just for them.

They hover and twist their heads towards me, down below them, wings all blurry in a flurry of movement.

If they decide I am not a threat, I am still enough and quiet enough, they turn their tiny jewel eyes to the feeder and zip in and out, assessing if it's something good to sip.

They take a drink, quick as you can blink.

And again, and again. Then finally feel comfortable enough to cease their exhausting wing beating and sit on the feeder perch to indulge in a deeper drink.

I smile and know that I probably have the best and sweetest offering on the block for these dainty creatures. I make a super-sweet and sugary boiled syrup for them, filling and refilling it almost every other day.

The little sharp-beaked bird, once drunk its' fill, then zips off lickedy-split!

Those moments recharge me.

The quiet. The trees. The fresh air.

The feeling of being close to something so small yet so very alive.

I feel the burning knowledge that God, Creator of everything, cares about that little bird.
And if He cares about just one tiny, delicate bird, how much more infinitely does He care about me and my life?

I need to feel that once in a while.

I need those moments.

 

__________________________________


What about you? 
What are some of your favourite places to recharge?

__________________________________

Here are the other Body Image posts I've written about so far:  

Dear 25-Year Old Me, My Confidence Bucket List, Single Rider

 

Beauty All Around

I took my dog for a late evening walk last night as the sun was setting and the air was growing cool.
I had every intention of making it a quick walk, to let my little mongrel run around, chase some birds or bunnies down the trail and head back home, but once I was out, inhaling the fresh summer air and listening to the sweet, soft sounds of birds and ducks at dusk, I had to keep walking and document some of the countless moments of beauty that I came upon.

 

I am SO excited for the blackberry season to begin! This year I hope to harvest LOTS. This trail near my house is just loaded with berries ripening up. These were the very first few that were ready. So sweet and tangy!

I'm not sure what this is, weed or flower? I can't seem to identify it yet. It's very small and dainty.

 

Though Morning Glory is a weed, its' blooms were practically glowing white in the dimming dusk light.

Also a weed, Queen Anne's Lace has always caught my eye. Right now they are prolific all along the sides of paths and roads. They do look like lace and I love when they curl upwards making a nest-looking shape.

Willow looks like she's taking time to smell the Lace!

As the light was dimming it was time to head home.
Willow has learned how to "stay" in a nice pose for a good path shot.

Honestly, I want to frame this one. The light was dappling these grasses making the field so pretty.
There was no wind, this was just how the grass was laying.

 
Sometimes all it takes is a few extra moments to look closely at the world around us to see beauty in every little blade of grass, every blossom, every insect or bird.

Beauty is all around us.

We live in such a beautiful world.

I truly felt God leading me to see that these little, insignificant things are all strokes from His own paintbrush of life. And if God cares about them, the birds and the flowers, how much more does He care about me and about you?

Dear Date...The Deserted Thirties

Join me for a series on my blog entitled "Dear Date..." 

where I share my insights and anecdotes into the exciting and often frustrating world of dating.

Previous topics in my "Dear Date..." series:
Are you Ready? Communication is Important! Internet Dating Dos & Don'ts.  Venue & Conversation Tips. And the most important...First Lesson: Have a Job."

Yes, I am in my thirties.
And no, I have not ever been close to being engaged, or married.
I am single.

Yes, that's right, I am single and not only am I in my thirties, I am exactly in my mid-thirties!
When did that happen?!?

Being in my thirties and single feels like being inside a black hole or the Kalahari desert.
Way off in the distance there is a glimmer or hope, of civilization, but where I am now it feels like no one understands. It feels lonesome, scary and a flickering contrast between being in the stark blinding spotlight or in the eerie blackness of invisibility.

Sometimes it even kind of feels like I'm a oddity at some old-timey side show.A man with a greasy mustache should be barking out to the crowd, "Step right up folks, behind this here curtain you will see a wonder of wonders, the very unique and rarely-before seen creature ever you laid eyes upon....it's the one and only, heavily endangered Thirty-Something Singleton! Yes, we have ourselves a real odd ball you ain't never gonna see anywheres else! Pay yer quarter and take a gander at 'er!"

I know it's not all that bad.

But some days it sure feels like I'm some alien that no one can comprehend.

My single 30's brain and heart work and tick so differently from everyone else.
They try to understand, oh yes, they try, but some days we need to flip through the yellow pages and find that ever-elusive ad for a single-to-non-single language and feelings interpreter.

You see, if you've been married or are married, young or old, you tend to forget what it's like.
Or you never even knew what it was like because you've never spent this many single years on your own.
You've never watched every one of your friends get married and have kids. 

Or if you have been married and now find yourself single and in your 30s, I'm sure you feel similarly confused and mislabeled.
Are you a "family" person now? Or back to being with the "singles" crowd?
And most of the "singles" around you are still in their 20s and either still in school or too young to even think about marriage yet.

Being single and 30-something is a rarity, and it is esspecially compounded by being single and Christian and 30-something! The veritable dating "pool" around you is shrinking eponentially by the milisecond or it does not even exist.
I'm not in my 20's anymore.
I'm not interested in dating forever or just for fun.
Most importantly, I'm not willing to sacrifice my beliefs just to settle down for the sake of just having someone.

I'm single. And I'm okay with that fact. 

For now.

Dear Date, if you find yourself in a similar situation, don't lose hope!

It's a desert out here, but on the horizon I see an oasis....or is it another mirage?

At the moment, I can't tell...but it's something.

(* As always, these amazing illustrations are courtesy of one of my favourite websites: explodingdog.com)

Dear Date...Are you ready? I think I am!

Join me for a series on my blog entitled "Dear Date..." 

where I share my insights and anecdotes into the exciting and often frustrating world of dating.

Previously on my "Dear Date..." series:
"I'm in my 30s, single and a Christian. The dating pool is so very small. It's difficult to meet people. Communication is Important! Internet Dating Dos & Don'ts.  Venue & Conversation Tips. And the most important...First Lesson: Have a Job."

There, you are all caught up, or you can go back to read my previous episodes and have a good chuckle.

It's been 2 years since my last "Dear Date" post and I can actually say that I am refreshed and rejuvenated from that little hiatus in dishing out the details of decent dating dos and don'ts.

I will also admit that I have let lapse whatever internet dating sites I was previously on and subscribed to.
I needed a break from the constant window shopping and judging on both sides of the computer monitor.
This is not to say that I won't ever try internet dating again, just not at the moment.

In the meantime, I've done a bit of introspective work in setting my own goals and getting my own heart in the right place to go forward into the world of singleness.

I'm not 100% certain, but perhaps 92.3% sure that I am, in fact, quite ready to  be in a relationship with someone.

 

Looking back, I was not at all ready.
I was a poor personal communicator, I was a little too focused on what I didn't have and not dwelling on all I should be thankful for, I wasn't taking time to truly enjoy my life the way it was and I rarely made an effort to meet new people and make new friends outside of my small circle.

Lately, I am enjoying life much more and taking time to find joy over sorrow. I am having fun at both my job and my hobbies and I am trying to be an encourager and a can-do type of person. I am branching out of my inner circle of best friends and making an effort to hang out with new people and get to know some acquaintances much better...and having a blast at the same time!! (Bonfires & BBQs!!!)

Mostly, I've had a real and amazing experience with God over the past few months (I'm sure I'll be sharing more on that soon), where He has taught me a few things and reassured me of many more.

I am daily seeking to find JOY and taking steps to try and be much more BRAVE than I used to be.

As far as dating is concerned, yes, I am still trying to find a good catch in small pool consisting of datable, single, Christian men, but I am not worried or anxious. I am TRUSTING God to lead me and direct me as I do my part to BE MYSELF.

So, "Dear Date", today my advice to you is the same advice I have needed: 

•  Seek JOY in your life. Joy in the things that make you happy and joy in the little bits of life that we tend to gloss over and look past. 
• Be BRAVE. Take a risk and hang out with some new people. Talk to some of them. Find out more about them and keep in touch. Do things that scare you a little and know that you CAN DO it! Or at least you can try!!
• BE YOURSELF. You don't ever have to be anyone else, just BE YOU, but be you fully alive! 
• Lastly, some advice that I need to be reminded of daily - If you believe in God, TRUST Him and let Him be your ALL. He knows the deepest desires of your heart and if you seek him first He will reward you with amazing things!

 To all you single people out there, have an excellent day, week, month, year and may your journey be full of fun, laughter, challenges and may you be on your way towards amazing relationships!!


(* As always, these amazing illustrations are courtesy of one of my favourite websites: explodingdog.com)

How One Hike has Changed My Life

Tonight I feel like I am being challenged.

Challenged, in a good way, to *do* something.

To take a step, to move beyond what is comfortable and safe and to trust I will be taken care of.

I feel like I felt two days ago after a hike; on the edge of a precipice, peeking over, too scared to get close.

I don't know what I am supposed to *do* but I will take each small step as they come, one foot in front of another, accepting the challenges God places in front of me and trusting Him daily.

I accepted a challenge on Friday by going on a hike up Mt. Tzouhalem.

If you think this isn't much of a step or a challenge, let me tell you that for *me* it was! 

Knowledge, Action, Happiness

Photo Credit: Tony Roberts Flickr

I'm learning to move forward.

Not only am I learning-with-my-head to move forward, I am actually moving forward.

I'm taking knowledge into practice and letting my actions follow through.

I'm letting go of frustrations before they overwhelm me.

I'm releasing anger before it consumes me.

I'm patching up past hurts as I heal and not letting them linger.

Moving forward means I am allowing God to help me, to calm me and to heal me more and more.
I'm also verbally thanking God more than I used to. 

Oh sure, I thanked Him and knew all the good things He's given me, but I am actually saying it out loud whenever I think of something to be thankful for. Which, incidentally, is quite often.

It lifts my soul to be able to move forward from the negative and feel the positivity of love and gratefulness flow through my veins.

Thankful for...100 List: First 25

As an exercise in positivity, 

I am making a list of the...

100 Things For Which I Am Thankful.

Today here are the first 25.



(Note: They are listed in no particular order, other than my rambling thoughts at the moment.)

1. My amazing parents.
2. My Christian heritage and upbringing.
3. A sister who is a close friend.
4. A brother who always keeps in touch.
5. The unconditional affection and joy from my dog.
6. My best friends, with whom I can laugh, cry, listen and belong.
7. Living on the west coast and a block from the ocean.
8. Being able to teach and learn from my co-workers.
9. My own place to live and wonderful landlords.
10. A job that is not boring but full of creativity and always changing.
11. That all four of my nephews love their "Auntie".
12. A good book to adventure in for a while.
13. The freedom to go to church and believe openly in my loving God.
14. My extended family, many of which feel as close as immediate family.
15. Board & Card Games!
16. Milk Chocolate!
17. A hot cup of tea in my favourite mug.
18. The feeling of excitement when I'm working on a new creative project.
19. My decent, comfortable and problem-free vehicle.
20. Autumn storms, wind, rain and waves.
21. Music that can calm, bring tears and fill me with joy.
22. The ease and speed I can access information, Google is great!
23. Finding the perfect pair of jeans.
24. Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream
25. Knowing how to properly use bobby pins.

Definitely a random order!

Watch for more updates to this list in the coming days.

What are you thankful for?

Start making your own list.
(PS - It does wonders for your current state of happiness.)


Here are the next segments of my Thankful Lists: #26-50, and #51-75

My Fear-shaped Box

Photo credit.

Many of us are afraid of something.

Are you afraid of....the dark?
Zombies? Vampires? Spiders? Death?

I have fears.

I have a box of fears.

No I don't need a nightlight and I do not like scary movies but I don't mind the odd zombie movie now and then.

I do, however, have several fears that I find difficult to talk about, let alone get over. (Ok, so I may also be freaked out by spiders sometimes, too.)

Five Minute Friday: Trust

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them. (YOU CAN DO THAT OVER AT the Gypsymama blog or at the Blessed Motherhood blog)

Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays.

We write because we want to, not because we have to. We write for fun, for joy, for discovery.

On Fridays we just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. Won’t you join us? 

OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

::

Trust…

A "Fast" Update - Not all 6s & 7s...

Day 6 & 7
So here I am...on the eve of my last day of one of the most difficult tasks I've ever committed to. A Fast.

Both yesterday and today have been tremendous mental and physical battles. A battle of wills - Will I cave? Will I fail? Will I pass out? Will I stay strong? Will I give in and just take a taste of peanut butter? Will my stomach ever stop growling?

It is not easy to break off deep, ingrained routines and habits cold turkey (mmm, turkey....). Such strong and natural instincts that have been with us since we were babies.

Something so simple as: "I'm hungry...I eat."

A "Fast" Update - Four, Five & Friday!

DAY FOUR & FIVE
Thank-you to everyone who has encouraged me and sent me their love. I only ever want to use this blog as a place to encourage others and as a way to express myself.

Oh yes, it is Friday and I'm more than halfway done my 8 day fast!

I'm thanking God that my work week is ending and I can have some time tomorrow to possibly NAP!

My fast is still going strong, I've been tempted but still have held out on the solid foods. I think my brain and body have finally switched off the impulse feeling that I MUST EAT something. Yes, I still have hunger pangs and 'empty' feeling moments, but they quickly pass as I drink some water and think bout something else.

The main issue I have been having for the past 2 days has been sleep. It's taken me a long time to fall asleep lately and I wake up so very tired. I feel like I could fall asleep any moment of the day if I just put my head down to rest....Yet, God is helping me stay strong and close to Him.

A "Fast" Update - Painting-by-Numbers

DAY THREE:
Well, here I am, and Day 3 is over and done with. I never, ever thought that I would have lasted this long. Honestly.

I'm not the type of person who sticks things out. I'm a starter, not a closer. Over the years I've tried all sorts of hobbies, past times, activities and I say tried, because that's what ends up happening; I try them. Full stop.

I usually try something for a little while, feel it out, see if I enjoy it, and most of the time I do. But what always seems to happen is that something else comes along to catch my eye and take my attention away. (Maybe I'm secretly a magpie, distracted by what's new and shiny!)

I have a closet full of "trys" - I have a box of paint-by-numbers that I spent several hours on but only managed to use a couple colours until it was put away never to see the light of day again. I have a violin I never play and guitar I haven't quite learned, and any number of crafts and activities, from bead looms to rollerblades, I've dabbled with but never stuck to.

I know it's okay to try things out and learn what you like or what you're good at, it just feels like my whole life is full of "just trying" something.

A "Fast" Update - Still Standing!

DAY TWO:
Well, so far, so good with my first two days of fasting. I've had a few weak moments and some angry hunger gremlins that seem to crawl right up my throat, but overall, I feel good and am doing well.

Every time I feel hungry or the urge to get something to eat I remind myself of why I am doing this. I remind myself that I can go without for once in my life. I remind myself that God is with me and He can let this experience bring me closer to Him. This afternoon I even took any hungry moment to stop and pray for someone in my family, taking my mind off myself.

As for what I am consuming to stay standing: lots of water, it's easier at work where we have a nice cold filtered water jug, but I've also been drinking 100% (not from concentrate) pressed apple juice. Today I tried a V8 Blueberry with vegetables juice and I just could not trick my mind into drinking a whole glass. It somehow doesn't taste right to me so later I might try it with a straw to fool myself that it's a delicious smoothie.

A "Fast" Update - Meet my new little motivator!

Day...One-Point-Five
Okay, it's now been only 12 hours since I began my fast...and I am sliding down the slippery slope of weakening with mental hunger!

I know it's mostly in my mind; the human body can last without solid food for quite a while, but it strikes me at how much I am actually just craving the ritual of going to the kitchen and getting something to eat. My feet have been trying to walk to the fridge and hands want to make something, open something, heat up something! Wow, I never realized it would be this difficult this early on! (Man, my mouth is watering just thinking about it! Stop it, traitorous salivary glands!)

Yet, I am surviving. I've been enjoying some fruit juices and I warmed up some organic, low sodium vegetable broth this evening. I've been keeping myself busy, taking down all my Christmas decorations, organizing them, going through them all only keeping what I really love and actually used this year. I went down an entire box from what I usually have stored away.

21 Day Challenge....Impossible Quest?

Today our community at Adore is holding their Second Annual 21-Day Challenge of Fasting and Prayer.

Have you ever fasted before? I mean on purpose, not by accident or because you ran out of food and didn't feel like going to the grocery store so you made it through the evening by ignoring the hunger pangs and waiting until morning.

Here in Canada we are so blessed to have so much food and variety of food right at our fingertips! I mean really, for only a few dollars we could eat a day's worth of calories; they wouldn't be all that great for you probably, but it can be done. And for those of us with steady employment do we take it for granted that we can go shop for whatever foods we desire or go out to eat at a restaraunt almost any time?

I have never fasted before...let alone missed a meal if I could help it. I admit it, I like food. I like the socal aspect of eating out with friends and family, of hosting people in my home for a meal or snacks. I like the taste of (almost) anything, I like the ritual of preparing and eating something yummy. I just plain old like food.

Star Light, Star Bright...

Last night when I got I home after spending some time with a good friend, I took Willow, my two-year old Westie for a nice walk around my neighbourhood.

The air was cool but it wasn't windy so it felt lovely after the few warm days we've had. And as we walked I noticed that the sky was so clear and full of bright stars. We walked down to one of my favourite little spots right on the ocean front and I just stared up at the sky for a while.

There were bright, sparkling stars that seemed to flicker and twinkle as if they were candles in the windows of the heavens. There were faint dots of light I could barely make out with my tired eyes that blanketed the background of the sky. There were also a few moving specs of light, satellites sailing across the dome above us, circling our world and giving us information or connecting us in ways I can't explain.

Walking Uphill - it's not as bad as you'd think.

Someone recently told me that I needed to update my blog...I guess that means that a few people at least actually read my blog from time to time. So. here I am updating and writing.

My fear of the blank page is being thwarted once again! Horrah!

Many, many things have happened since I last wrote a meaty, beefy, full post!

Time is...

"Time is

Too Slow for those who Wait,

Too Swift for those who Fear,

Too Long for those who Grieve,

Too Short for those who Rejoice;

But for those who Love,

Time is not.

~ Henry Van Dyke

Time.

When I was young it seemed like I had so much time, yet everything took way too long. Waiting for Jr High, then High School, the wait until I could drive, Graduation...

Then something happened in those years from High School Graduation and the beginning of University...I realized that I missed my younger years already. I missed being a child and having little to no responsibilities, I missed feeling free and unburdened. Not to say that my childhood was perfect in any sense, I mean, it was good and fun, but I had my trials as most children do. If I had to go back and live through my childhood again, knowing what I know now, you can believe that I would stand up to certain bullies, work harder at certain subjects, and never, ever miss an opportunity to have fun!

This feeling of missing my younger years began to shape my personality in my twenties. I wasn't ready to let go and put away childish things. I clung to the fun, the bright, and took chances to keep myself from getting bored or boring. In some ways those years of shaping still linger in me today.